My 12-Year Journey with Kriya Yoga: From Spiritual Curiosity to Meditative Clarity
It has taken me over 12 years to have the ability to write this article on Kriya Yoga. If you had told me it would take so long to be where I am at, I would have told you to pound sand and be on my merry way. We are going to talk a lot about what I thought versus what really happened and in this first instance, telling someone to pound sand, I could not have been more wrong. If today you told me it would take another 12 years, I would not think much of it as the journey is as fruitful as the destination. As to not scare the reader from reading further, I can tell you that I have a very fruitful yoga practice and would never have imagined I would be here, but again what I thought vs. reality was very different. We are going to use the analogy of taking a road trip, acquiring a vehicle, learning the controls, learning to drive it, taking practice drives and then embarking on towards the final destination. The drive towards the final destination is where I am today and I, frankly, don’t see any other way to have gotten here.
This article was written by S.F. a student of the 2-Year Kriya Yoga Apprenticeship Program and the Advanced Kriya Yoga Training Program.
We are going to use the analogy of taking a road trip, acquiring a vehicle, learning the controls, learning to drive it, taking practice drives and then embarking on towards the final destination. The drive towards the final destination is where I am today and I, frankly, don’t see any other way to have gotten here.
Like many of you, I began meditating before I discovered Kriya Yoga. It was something innate in me. There was no life event, no one convincing me, I had just always been interested in the matter. And, as many of you, I stumbled into Autobiography of a Yogi. I had already started a similar practice that involved spinal breathing, so when I read the book and learned more about Kriya, I knew this was the way. By then I knew that the universe leads you in the right direction and I had the instinctual prowess or discernment to follow my instinct and pursue this journey. I found a Kriya Yoga organization near me, one of the larger national ones, learned more, got initiated and soon I would be traveling the astral planes with my lineage of teachers. And if I practiced really hard, I would be enlightened in three years time. I had a journey and I bought the car to take me there. What I thought from what really happened couldn’t have been further apart. The reality was that I neither knew how to operate the vehicle nor where I was going.
The first three years of practice where very fruitful, I became a very good meditator, had what I now consider minor experiences which were just me improving my concentration and becoming more sensitive. By that time I had become discouraged with my organization as it seemed that time was the only thing necessary for learning higher Kriyas; which I thought were necessary to become enlightened. There was no true teacher or guru directing me, just folks who had been doing it longer and blindly repeated the words of the organization. Much like I stumbled onto Kriya, I stumbled into Ryan Kurczak. Again, discernment kicked in and I knew he was the person to teach me to drive the car. What really got me was his approach. It was gradual and sensical, everything had a purpose and it was clearly outlined to me. It wasn’t do this, it was this is why you do it. And in time that understanding would continue to grow. I thought that I needed to learn more routines and practice them but I knew what I first needed was to understand the process. I needed to learn the controls of the car and what they do before I even pressed on the gas pedal. While I didn’t know it at the time. I was a Jnana yogi. It didn’t mean that I didn’t have a reverence and love for the divine, that is certainly a necessity to motivate one and keep going, but knowledge was the key driver for me. At the time I didn’t really understand what this actually meant and how its practiced, now I do.
In time and after getting to know Ryan, I enrolled in the advanced class, again thinking that I was going to be told some secrets or routines that would help me advance and for once I was correct, but not in the way that I thought. These secrets and routines didn’t involve me traveling the astral plane in a blissful state, they required the ability concentrate, which can’t be done without having ones affairs in order. A wonderful thing happened in this initial stage, I realized that Ryan had taught me to drive and I was already taking test drives. Through out the years, all of my practices innately made me follow the initial stages of the yoga sutras all the way through the concentration stage. I thought I was meditating, but I was not. Learning about the Sutras made the practice more fruitful and useful to my life and my practice. It was the first realization that knowledge was indeed needed to go with the practice, not my Kriya routine alone. And much to my surprise, as I looked in the rearview mirror, I had learned to drive and was becoming adept at it. It motivated me to continue. However, I was still not ready to embark on the actual final drive, though the journey had clearly begun.
One predominant idea in Yoga is letting go and detachment, this I knew was necessary but is a hard pill to swallow and didn’t really understand how to get there. Again, knowledge and practice would bring the realization to life and that obstacle removed. As I practiced more, was involved and active in the program, I got even more advanced training. Truth be told, I did not know if it would help or if I would ever travel the astral planes in bliss – an idea by the way – that now seems utterly ridiculous and unnecessary. But discernment, which had continued to develop told me to keep going. And once again, my initial thought was wrong, I advanced but advancing did not look like I thought it would. I was already a very deep meditator but always got to a place of quiet and nothingness but it was still me in a room quiet. Little did I know that this was knowing how to drive the car and that I was almost ready to begin my journey.
But first we had to drop some pre-conceived notions. I thought the quiet state I was in was a failure, it was not. It was actually and advanced state of consciousness. It is the backdrop where you can begin to meditate and contemplate. I thought contemplation was thinking and its not, its much more than that, its directing your awareness to a problem and much like throughout my entire journey, letting the universe direct me. It is actually the opposite of thinking, it is feeling. A year or two before I had this realization, Ryan told me I thought too much and to feel more in my meditation. I didn’t fully understand but I also did fully understand. Now my practice became not trying to be in a blissful state but to use the quiet state I now easily achieved to open myself to feeling. It was not easy at first but in time I learned and my practice moved forward as meditation and contemplation became more fruitful. I was finally meditating and on my drive to the destination or so I thought. I was certainly more detached and did let go in that by then I had enough experiences to show me this was the way but not fully there. I also did not know what letting go meant or that letting go is the last rest stop before you arrive. I fought my thinking and carried on.
This blog is supported by members of our Kriya Yoga Online Patreon Community. Members of this community are invited to monthly Question and Answer sessions and regular monthly lessons on Kriya Yoga and Meditation.
Ryan in his infinite wisdom saw that I was advanced enough and again taught me routines and knowledge that would carry me forward. And once again I apprehensively moved forward. While I had greatly advanced, and when looking in the rearview mirror I had clearly travelled many miles and was out of my state, I did not think anything but the grace of god would carry me forward. I would wait at the temple until the doors were open for me. For someone who is a doer, this is a very discouraging thought. Mind you that by this time I was a completely different person; my understanding of yoga; my being able to recognize Karmic events and their creation, and how the universe is always talking to you, had grown immensely. The sensitivity training had worked, yet still at the temple door. But once again, I couldn’t have be more wrong. I wont get into the practices or routines, but the change was profound and I had my first glimpse at enlightenment after devoting myself to the practice – which really meant using the meditative state to contemplate and point Citta in the right direction. It is true that it goes where you point it; this is an undisputable fact whether you believe it or not. This moment of enlightenment did not happen in the astral plane in a moment of bliss but with a realization that happened when walking my dogs. And just like that letting go made sense because I knew what I had to let go off, which had nothing to do with living my life or material possessions. In that flash, which was not a magical moment like I thought it would be and more akin to solving a math problem or remembering something, all the teachings made sense, they became alive, and this translated into my practice. Sitting in quiet now is an opportunity to work towards letting go and I no longer worry or think about the journey. I am now truly meditating. While I am sure there will be bumps ahead, I know that I must continue to push on, however, I have a much better sense of this. The journey is like a drop of water slowly carving a rock until it makes a river with obstacles in the way, a lake is created, even if you think the water isn’t flowing, it is and the water drops continue washing away the rock. In time, the water flows and continues to make its way to the ocean.
I will leave you with this – I can truly attest to the fact that the practice works if you let it, if you think less and feel more, if you let go of what you think you know. I can also reassure you that it will happen naturally even if do not believe so because you are working with the laws of creation and energy. These teaching were outlined a millennia ago and modern science and physics tell us they were correct. Practice and know that you will continue to move forward.
For more information on Kriya Yoga lessons, retreats and trainings please see the following links:
The Kriya Yoga Online Ashram – Homepage | Kriya Yoga Online Ashram
Kriya Yoga Events – Kriya Yoga Events – Classes, Retreats and Workshops
No comments.